Grandson refuses to spend his weekends maintaining his grandparents’ investment property in Las Vegas after being guilt-tripped into regular 5-hour repair trips: ‘This isn’t my house’

Author image for Cata Holmes
Cata Holmes • Writer
Jun 23, 2026 11:15 AM EDT

When does helping family stop being a favor and start feeling like an obligation?

I'm going to start by saying that I'm standing with the OP in this one. There's nothing more unfair to me than realizing my family is forcing me to be responsible for something that's not mine, nor something I asked for. I think he's right when he stands up for himself and sets this boundary with them.

There's also a big difference between helping family during an emergency and being expected to provide ongoing free labor. Most people would gladly make the occasional trip if something urgent came up, but being on call several times a month with little notice is a completely different commitment. It's obvious that the OP is beginning to feel less like a helpful grandson and more like an unpaid property manager.

For a little extra context, he states that his grandparents are European, so they're very strict when it comes to helping and lending others the key to their house. That leads their own children and grandchildren to go and fix the house whenever there's a problem. But, it's not just a quick fix: everyone lives very far away and has to travel a lot just to get there. So, essentially, this arrangement doesn't work for anyone.

What stands out to me is that the family seems to be treating the lack of a property manager as an unavoidable problem when it's actually a choice. If the grandparents have decided they don't trust outside help, that's their problem, but it doesn't automatically mean the responsibility should fall on their children and grandchildren. 

I hope that he setting his foot down is going to be helpful for the rest of the family to be more genuine and to help out if they really want to. However, according to the story, the family is very cooperative and titles him as selfish when he does not want to head down there to do some work.

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  • 01
    Portrait of a young man against a neutral background.
    via Unsplash+ (via JSB Co.)

    Portrait of a young man against a neutral background.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I'm an adult and live in Los Angeles. My grandparents (on my mom's side) own a house in Las Vegas that they bought years ago as an investment. My grandparents themselves live in LA, so whenever something goes wrong with the house, someone has to drive about 5 hours to Vegas to deal with it.
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 03
    The problem is that this house constantly seems to have issues. There are recurring plumbing and irrigation problems, including pipes bursting in the yard. My grandfather has Ring cameras installed and sometimes notices problems remotely, but if something serious happens, someone still has to physically drive out there to shut off water, buy supplies, and make repairs.
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 04
    For years my grandparents handled most of this themselves. However, my grandmother has gotten older and is no longer up for making the trip. regularly. Over the last few months, my mom has started asking me to come along with her, my dad, and my grandfather to help.
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 05
    The issue is that these trips happen a lot sometimes 2-3 times per month, and I'm often told about them only a day beforehand. When I say I don't want to go, my mom guilt-trips me by talking about how much my grandparents need help and how hard it is on them.
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 06
    I understand that my grandparents are getting older, and I genuinely feel bad for them. I also appreciate that they're trying to maintain an investment they own. But at the same time, this isn't my house. I didn't choose to buy it, and I wasn't involved in the decision to own property five hours away.
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 07
    The trips are exhausting, especially during the Vegas summer heat, and I've had to cancel my own plans multiple times because I'm expected to drop everything and go.
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 08
    I feel like helping occasionally is reasonable, but I'm starting to resent being treated as if I'm responsible for maintaining someone else's investment property.
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 09
    My mom thinks I'm being selfish and that family should help family. I think there should be limits, especially when it's becoming a regular obligation rather than an occasional favor.
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 10
    IMPORTANT EDITS: the house is PAID OFF. my grandparents also refuse to get anything like a property manager. They are European and "don't trust anybody". They are VERY stubborn about getting anybody to help. According to them the "HOA is strict", and someone needs to be there to let them into the home. If I try to assert myself and that I have a life, I am told that "grandparents are more important. They won't be around forever."
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 11
    Charming suburban home
    via Unsplash+ (via Todd Kent)

    Charming suburban home.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    AITA for wanting to stop going on these trips and telling my family they need to find another solution?
    via DouglasOnReddit

  • The Redditors rapidly showed up and provided the OP with some helpful advice on how to proceed with this complicated family situation. Essentially, they all agreed that his opinion is the right one and setting his foot down is the way to go.

  • 13
    Mira_DFalco NTA If your family wants to keep that property, and can't manage to make the trip to maintain it, they need to hire a property manager. Not your circus, not your elephant.
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 14
    Exciting Honeydew359 NTA. Investments are made so you can turn them to cash when it makes sense. It makes sense. A house you don't use isn't making you money. Driving there that often is burning. money and quality of life though. Just say you have to work from now on
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 15
    AttractTease helping occasionally is family, being on call for someone else's investment property is unpaid labor
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 16
    celticmusebooks You grandparents either need to hire a management company OR sell the property and invest in something less "hands on".
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 17
    dragon34 Nta. If this was purchased as in investment, it needs to be rented out and managed by a property management company, or it's time to sell it and take the money. Doesn't seem like driving 30 hours a week is doing anything except costing them money so it is currently a bad investment for the whole family
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 18
    The iconic Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas sign surrounded by palm trees on a sunny Nevada day.
    via Unsplash+ (via Grant Cai)

    The iconic Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas sign surrounded by palm trees on a sunny Nevada day.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    violetletterss NTA. Helping family occasionally is fair, but being expected to drop your life multiple times a month for a property you didn't choose or benefit from isn't sustainable.
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 20
    Mytweezer NTA. The scenario is ridiculous and unsustainable. Time to sell it.
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 21
    dozerdaze NTA - this is why local property management companies exist. You all are spending more on time, gas, and for you work than if you just paid someone to check and maintain it. This is not your responsibility
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 22
    MsAresAsclepius NTA. Your grandparents may not be interested in property manager because they don't trust anyone, but also they don't need to pay for a property manager because you are doing it for free. If you are the only property manager they trust, maybe it's time to start charging for the time and labour to takes you to be the hands on property manager they treat you like.
    via DouglasOnReddit
  • 23
    archangel7134 It sounds like at this point the investment is becoming more of a liability. They should consider selling and putting the proceeds towards their retirement. NTA
    via DouglasOnReddit

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